iN/ouT

February 2018

    Living in cognitive delay, listening is losing my mind. Finding personal patterns in conversations that move me in and out of presence, iN/OuT flows through my cycles of overthinking that comes through in waves. My neurodivergence is consuming and processing comes in fracturing, tunnel vision, devastation, and relief. In attempts to visualize my continuously cycling through thoughts, moving in and out, peaks, and beats I have collaged some of the loaded footage I have accumulated throughout my life. 

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    Coming from a love of textural and material film format, collapsing while compartmentalizing cinematic mediums allowed me to simulating my internal / external flow through what is being said to how it is being processed. Feeling through this as in mental motions traveling from the surround and into the body, fragmented film and a cyclical folding through simulated patterns. 

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    Static first person framing to distance the body, a gazing, hearing, feeling, that is translated into how hyperactivity runs (in my mind). Coming through thoughts that are absorbed and how it might feel to be inside of the body. Shaping not just around visual superimposition and textures, aural motions surround the movements like the internal fluctuations in falling out of the present.

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     Thinking from places of spirals, the flowing feelings of thoughts overlap in a running, staying, escaping, and holding, a love of what looks like drifting in & out of the present. iN/ OuT attempts to mark the overwhelming of motion and a watching through the mental moments of distance.